It is essential that people learn how to soothe and nurture “themselves” (their lower brain that tends to go nuts so easily) and learn how to cope with negative emotions.
Here are suggestions for you to pick from – and you can go into as much detail or however far you want to go.
There are quite a number of pieces on the site about how to soothe and nurture yourself.
If you follow the Life Power Pause Tool, the first part of that includes how to get yourself back to a higher state of functioning and feeling. When we’ve done that, the need for further relief with soothing and nurturing will be gone.
However, people don’t always follow the instructions to use this tool at all times. You might even consider the soothing and nurture strategies to be a part of the tool, as they contribute to the calming and rebalancing that is part of the tool.
Read the materials (linked below) and set up your own reminders list of activities that you think will work for you.
IDEAS OF SELF NURTURING ACTIVITIES
These are excerpted from the core piece Self-Nurturing, Self-Soothing – A Vital Skill And Practice:
Taking time for myself – Soaking in tub, rejuvenation days, special rejuvenation day, make “appointments” with yourself for self-care.
Talking to oneself as if you were your own soothing, nurturing parent. (This notonly soothes but it also helps retrain the brain on how to talk to itself.)
Listing out what makes you happy and then doing some of those things (plan weekly). Do the list now, taking 15 minutes then putting it in your Reminders Notebook.
Compassion for self – Talk with yourself as a compassionate adult would, always!
Self touching (also instigating massages is a way of getting touch)
Gratitude – Choosing to review what you are grateful for soothes your spirit. One of the most effective!
Appreciating yourself, for any small or bigger thing you’ve done. Find “appreciation” opportunities, be your own cheerleader, even if just “taking the role” and pretending.
Devise “coping statements” that are reassuring to oneself and/or nurturing and kind.
Taking time to plan your life and/or give yourself time for perspective
Sitting in the sun, being quiet in nature, walking
Reading, exercise, a trip to the bookstore, do a nice thing for yourself…
Do one of the Rejuvenation days – These are great!!!!
Do this process: Caring, Feeling Presence – Loving Yourself – A process where your figurative “child” is unconditionally loved by sources you pick, in a rather interesting process.
A process I liked: The Loving Rational Adult – The only way to deal with life. It fits reality, as opposed to being a victim/child.
Additional ideas: StraightFromTheHeart site
Processes that are self-soothing, self-illuminating, and/or self-empowering (from the Loving Oneself section):
Caring, Feeling Presence – Loving Yourself – Loving yourself is the first pre-requisite for living a great life and for experiencing true happiness and peace. In this process, you create your “allies”, which will serve you well when you need wisdom and support for your “inner child” or “self”.
Child: Interacting With The Unconditionally Loving Allies To “Heal” The Past – This is a format for taking one back from fears and emotions experienced in the present but due to “Earlier Similar” occurrences that affected the child within you. There are 5 to 10 significant ones that repeat in your life and you can “handle them” so that they are less (or none at all) of an influence.
RELEVANT PIECES AND SECTIONS
Giving To Yourself What Is Needed – Giving Up False Control And False Dependence – This is the antidote to our quest for getting from “out there”, from our dependence and disappointments.
Filling Me Up – What Fills Up My Core – The factors and activities that fill me up, producing in me satisfaction, fulfillment, a sense of life being truly worthwhile, a knowing that I am doing what is “of true value”…
RESOURCES TO USE:
StraightFromTheHeart.com – Ways To Nurture Yourself – See also on that page, the links to
Create A Comfort Program
Self-Nurture, Alice D. Domar
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(Note that most of the pieces I write are intended for more study and completion. As such, you might do the overall reading of the piece and then tickle it for followup later if you cannot complete it in one sitting. It is not likely that you can do it in one sitting. Possibly, read How To Read And Learn From A Keith Garrick Piece.)