Have you ever met someone who takes more responsibilities than they should?
(This is a quick comm for a particular person; copied and altered from Leon Ho’s email.)
They feel they must do all things for all people or “be productive” as the only way to have self worth. (They do it out of a type of fear, where they feel survival-threatened in one way or the other, which keep them on a constant “necessity” to stave off the threat!)
So, they tend to take on more than they can handle.
They insist on taking other people’s responsibilities.
“Can you help me?”
“Can you take care of the children today?”
Their answer is always the same.
“Yes! Of course!” (Of course I’m a good person! Of course I’m noble and giving! Yes, surely, I must do it, for my god to approve of me and…)
The word NO just doesn’t exist in their vocabulary.
They just cannot say no even when they have a demanding schedule already, with “no time”, as they are already “too busy”, with not enough time for life and happiness!
Maybe they just do it because they want to make a good impression.
Maybe they want to show their skills and talents.
The real problem is that once they realize all the things they said they would do…
They pretty much collapse.
They don’t know where to start.
They can’t focus.
One thought leads to another, and so they spend hours trying to solve just one problem (since they can’t focus…).
Their minds become complete chaos.
And let’s not talk about that feeling of desperation that takes them over .
Negative thoughts saying things like…
“And now what do I do?
How can I make all this happen?”
In the end, all they have left is a bunch of unfinished tasks or an exhausted person with no time for a real life.
Now, what can they do to change all that?
The answer is simple, actually.
All they need to do is learn to prioritize.
They need to make a list of all the things they have pending.
Then, they must evaluate which tasks need to be taken care of, and which ones should be dumped, renegotiated, or delegated.
After all, they feel it is up to them to save the world, or at least more and more people.
Once they’ve made those decisions, it’s time to schedule them.
Set a time and a date.
That way, you’ll know if you actually have the time to take on more responsibilities – you’ll then have a perspective from which you can choose better and be in control of your life, instead of others being in control of your life!.
Stop it BEFORE it becomes a problem!
If you have your priorities determined, including the ones without urgency, and then scheduled in, you will be able to start discriminating up front, before it’s too late, and you’re stuck with too much!!!
If someone comes to you asking for a favor and you don’t have time, then it’s time to say no.
Or default to an automatic “no”.
Or, say “I’d love to help but I have no extra time”. (Which you can say truthfully IF you’ve already committed your time by prescheduling!) Of course, this assumes you are wise enough to have prebooked in your schedule the time you’ll use for what is valuable that you want to make sure you don’t miss (except for emergencies, of course).
In the latter approach, you’re just making sure that the stuff that is of the most value to you is not being pushed out presently by doing too much of lesser value now. To assure this you make sure that the more valuable items are inserted first into the schedule (instead of being pushed aside by the extra things you take on!!!! It is “stoopid” to run one’s life filling it up with what other’s want, or will benefit from, and pushing out the really valuable stuff for yourself!
My almost zero cost Kindle book Life Value Productivity teaches you how to make sure you get the high value activities inserted first (and how to identify them!).
Instead, you can leave it to someone else, instead of taking on the whole world at once.
When you do that, organizing your time becomes so much easier.
You get that peace of mind you’ve always wanted to have.
And when you do take on extra tasks…
You’ll have the trust of knowing you have everything you need to get it done.
You’ll live life on your own terms.
Because now you’ll be in control.
That’s why I wrote the Life Value Productivity book (Kindle). As one reviewer put it, “Life changing!”
SMART PEOPLE WILL DO THIS – AND DO IT COMPLETELY, NOW, FOR RESULTS!
Smart people will not just read a piece to encourage them. They will actually, if something is a big problem, cure the problem quickly and once and for all. Smart people do not keep on allowing the same problems (and consequences) to repeat over and over.
They would search the site for “busy” and come up with such things as:
Or, smartly go to a related “contents, links” page on the site, such as Time And Productivity Section, Detailed Contents And Links, from which they would select pieces, likely reading over the first reading sequence.
Most of all, they would assure “completion” so that one has fewer and fewer “open loops” (undone things) and fewer and fewer unsolved problems. (See Completion – Never Stop Short Of Getting “The Result”!!!! and Super-Principle: No “Open Loops”, Ongoing Concerns, Nor Worrying.)
Those who play this smartly would assure, thereby, that life would be quickly improving and, PERMANENTLY getting easier and easier and better and better! And be largely problem free, forever!!!!